In my world of preteens and teens, today was a day of hard talks. Sooo… my darling Bree kindof yelled at me today for posting the Mean Girls blog post. EVERYONE saw the post. It embarrassed her that I took examples from our conversations. But I let her read it and I told her this: Nobody EVER talks about it. It gets ignored and swept under the rug because nobody wants to ruffle any feathers. Nobody ever talked about when I was a girl. You sucked it up, dealt with it, and tried to move on. I can’t count how many women have told me they deal with the after effects of life with mean girls (and sometimes boys, but in general girls seem to be meaner for some reason) to this day. If nobody ever talks about it, nothing will ever get DONE about it and it will never get any better for anybody.
Somebody Say Something
I told her that maybe if somebody had said or done something when I was a kid, or even before, maybe there wouldn’t be as much of a problem now. Well, ok, Hollywood made a movie about it, but that didn’t do a whole lot to actually stop mean girls being mean. If parents talked to their kids about both sides of it and teachers talked to their students, things might be better on the girls coming up now. Maybe even girls might not be afraid to call each other out on it. We can do that when we learn to not mind so much what people think. As we age we also get better at ignoring people. That helps.
We need to have those hard conversations with our kids. Sure we want everything to be sunshine and roses, but that’s not realistic. Not in our world. Ignoring problems doesn’t make them go away. Talking about them, finding solutions, that is what solves problems. If I don’t want my kids to go down the same wrong roads I went down, I am going to have to have a lot of hard conversations with them. Conversations about mean kids, peer pressure, dating, mistakes I made… it’s not going to be fun. But it will be necessary.
No Matter Where
My kids love their school. Well, Conner is 14 so he’d really rather not school at all, he’d rather sleep, but he does love his school. Bree used to spring out of bed every morning ready to go to school like Nemo. That has faded. I know she’d be having these problems no matter where she was in school because she’s different. She’s like me and her dad. We think differently, we act differently. People just think we’re weird. We are weird. Here’s to the crazy ones, ya’ll. The different people are the ones that get picked on. I’m fairly certain that’s been scientifically proven somewhere. But we can work on making that change. We can teach our kids to find joy in the crazy folk when they’re still kids instead of picking on them when they’re kids and then thinking, “Oh, that’s a really neat person,” after they’re all grown up.
I leave you with this song by Needtobreathe. Let us love…
And if you need a safe place to be your weird self – come hang out at The OpalTurtle.