What you plan isn’t always what happens
When I had the idea to start this blog (or restart it, rather) it wasn’t with the intention of posting about depression. However, God has other ideas apparently, and a whole lot of my blog post ideas involve depression and fighting it.
It’s weird how the depression monster works. I can be in a fine mood, then one little irritation will set my mood off and then every little thing begins to annoy me and I can feel the slide starting. It’s really hard to keep my self at the top of the slide. My mind persists on dwelling on the irritations and disappointments and just… stuff that drags me down. I have to make myself go do something that will re-route my thinking and bring me back up. It’s taken me a long long time to recognize this trend.
I have battled depression pretty much forever. It’s hereditary in my family. My mom’s grandmother was given something for her “nerves” way back in the day. Memaw always seemed nervous to me. I’m sure my mom has her struggles as well. I’m good at hiding it. I always felt like I shouldn’t bother anyone with my troubles. Probably because we didn’t ever talk about problems in our family. So I kept everything all bottled up inside. Over the years I’ve gotten better about sharing my troubles with people, but probably not a whole lot better. I slip and start down the slide and then I get peeved because I feel I can’t talk to anyone about it and that compounds the weight and I slide down faster. In the not too distant past, once I went down the slide it was super hard to drag myself back up. I try to never let myself go down the slide very far now. Tuesday was one of those days. I slid further Tuesday than I have in a long time. But my friends and my sweet Poshas on my team (and a good, long cry) helped pull me back up.
Depression is something I try to help myself and others fight in my OpalTurtle Facebook group. I post Posh stuff there, too, of course, but I want it to be more than just a place to post about my business. I want it to be a place for anyone to post when we’re on the slide. We can go and post there, get out of our own heads, and write my thoughts down to clear out the fog and help me feel better. Everybody is welcome in my little virtual tavern. It’s a judgment free zone. We’re all there to help build each other up. You’re welcome to come join us and post away when you feel the need (or if you see something to post that might bring a little bit of brightness to somebody’s day!)